October Morning

“Anyone who has gumption knows what it is, and anyone who hasn’t can never know what it is. So there is no need of defining it.” 
― L.M. Montgomery


What a week!
I am...exhausted.
All week the earliest I got to bed was one in the morning, or 3:45...goodness. But! Thursday was the day. After school and dance I went to my fellow senior leaders house for a freshman/senior Young Life sleepover! We went on scavenger hunts at Walmart and Harris Teeter. We had a milkshake eating contest at Steak and Shake. We went up to a "random" person's house two-by-two to ask for water. We pranked the boy's sleepover, I mean...man-party, and rapped the boy senior leaders truck. Then ended, of course, with playing some fun Truth or Dare. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZNB-O1JQs4
(haha, best video ever.)
It was SO fun. However, when everyone went to bed at about 3 in the morning, I had to stay awake. Why? Well, I had to be at school at 4:45 in the morning to leave on an activity bus for a theatre festival at Meredith College.
I slapped myself and yelled at the top of my lungs to stay awake driving to school. It was dark, cold, and raining. I ended up having to sit by the kid who threw on on the way...my head banging on the cold window as I attempted to fall asleep.
From 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. I watched one-act plays...I slept through two of them...
It really was a relatively fun day. But I have never experienced such physical and mental tiredness. 


I slept still 12:30 today. I woke when the sun was out. I woke to wind blowing all the rain away. I woke to red, orange, and yellow leaves. I woke to the smell of leaves. I woke to the thought, "I can take a shower!" I woke to turtlenecks, dresses with tights, and cowboy boots.
It was a good morning. 


“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” 
― Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery


Isn't it incredible what a morning can do? What sleep can to for the mind, body, and spirit? When I am sleep deprived I think I become Audrey-deprived...less myself, because less of myself is awake and functioning...ah sleep : )

A Golden-Hearted Rose

I can't help but love this quote. Isn't it the ideal? I suppose I am a romantic at heart, but I want this simplicity, not the bombard-ance of a knight or star player to sweep me off my feet -- litterly. I want this. I am afraid that I need to get my head out of books and into the "real world," but if these books give one better perception of the real world, then isn't that even better?  I know not. But I do know that I am sleepy and therefore a little delirious and prone to foolishness and girlieness. 
Ah well...it's pretty none-the-least:)


“For a moment Anne's heart fluttered queerly and for the first time her eyes faltered under Gilbert's gaze and a rosy flush stained the paleness of her face. It was as if a veil that had hung before her inner consciousness had been lifted, giving to her view a revelation of unsuspected feelings and realities. Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music, perhaps. . . perhaps. . .love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath. ” 
― L.M Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea 

I Feel Home

“There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting.” 
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables


Everyday I think of this quote and laugh...it is so true! I am always swinging from one Audrey to another. At school I change from class to class. This is the class Audrey is quiet in. This is the class Audrey can't stop talking. This is the class Audrey falls a sleep in. This is the class Audrey giggles and cannot stop. Then, once I arrive at work, this is the Audrey who is quiet and always listening...and I continually am encouraged to be louder and learn more. Off to dance! This is the goofy/silent/crying/laughing/listening/ignoring Audrey.
And now I am home...with loads of work looming before me, and I am the procrastination Audrey.
They are all me...but if I could just be consistent life would be so much easier.
But I suppose it would not be "half so interesting." 
I wonder if anyone will be able to understand all my different Audreys and like me for each and every one. When asked, "are you generally outgoing or shy? Are you an introvert or an extrovert," all I can ever say is...depends. 
Depending on the day one may or may not want to talk to "this" Audrey. And it's not like I have multiple personalities...it just depends.
I think that's how everyone is.
But I think it's interesting...
I think when I wear my cowboy boots I am more of myself. More of a consistent Audrey. I don't even ride horses...or have a country accent...I just love them. They mean comfort and adventure and thoughts and music and poetry and loveliness and a sense of confidence. 

And there it is. That is, in essence, the Audrey that I most like to be. 

I think the things that make us most ourselves should be what we adorn ourselves with. The people who makes us feel most at home are who we should surround ourselves with. 

I don't like feeling like I don't belong.

I don't know why

But you keep

Appearing in my head

Something

About your name

Is 

Home.

I don't know why

But your face

Gazing over there

Looks like a part

Of my 

Home.

I don't know why

But when I glance

Over at you

I feel

Home.

At home is how I feel in my boots. At home is how I feel with those around me in that picture. At home is where I want to be.

I think O.A.R. said it well,

"There are few things pure in this world anymore,
and home is one of the few."

So, in my boots I feel home. All the different Audreys come together and sit a while, in harmony. It's nice:)

"Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." -1 Corinthians 13:12

I'd Like to Add Some Beauty to Life

“I'd like to add some beauty to life," said Anne dreamily. "I don't exactly want to make people KNOW more... though I know that IS the noblest ambition... but I'd love to make them have a pleasanter time because of me... to have some little joy or happy thought that would never have existed if I hadn't been born.” 
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne's House of Dreams


Yes, that is what I'd like to do.
I have been working...let me rephrase that...I have been trying to work on my senior project. The only issue is that I don't really know what I am doing.
I am writing about teaching, and literature...basing my whole paper on the C.S. Lewis quote, "The task of the modern educator is not to tear down jungles but to culivate deserts."
I think Lewis and Anne would have gotten along well.
A lot of the reason that I want to be a teacher is because of Anne. I would indeed "like to add some beauty to life." I suppose Lewis was more on the wanting people to KNOW more, but still...I want to walk away having left "some little joy or happy thought."
What if we all lived trying to do that? I think that would be just lovely:). Now, I suppose I am just a little book nerd who likes to live in the land of faries, but think if you paired that goal with the "nobelist ambition." That is a teacher that I would like to have.
That is the teacher that I would like to be. 
I think it is the lovely fall weather and spending time with some wonderful friends...because even though the load of work that I have to do is rather daunting, I am OK for right now. I am just fine sitting and thinking about the good. 
I think sometime we all need to stop and think about those good things. The "simple things" as my friend Sarah would say. 


"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." -1 Thessalonians 2:8

Well, Hello There

"After all," Anne had said to Marilla once, "I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string."


Anne of Green Gables, by L.M. Montgomery is one if my favorite books. I remember in 5th grade when my mom first read to book to me. Each night she would sit at the foot of my bed and read aloud. I fell in love.
Anne's simplicity of looking at life, and her eyes that refused to only see the ugly have inspired me in so many ways. 
I first realized my love f0r writing while reading her books, and my dream to become a teacher. Even though I have such a long way to go, and cannot see beyond the "bend in the road" she she often mentioned, I am excited to make the trip and keep on keeping on. 
Blogging never really came to my mind. That is, not until I started reading my friends blog, Reflections of Hope. It was inspiriting. I think I am becoming a little obsessed with the human mind...it is so flawed, yet so beautiful. I would like to spend a day in it, look around, maybe prod some...hehe, just kidding. But for real, it is just incredible. 
And how can we express it? By words. Both written and spoken. I think that is amazing. Each and every word can carry such a weight. Can change in connotation just by how the writer manipulates it. 
I'd say that's pretty incredible.
Anywho...I tent to think a lot. And write a lot. So, why not just bog about it, ay? That's what I'm saying. 
So here I am.
Blogging.
First ever.
Can I get a hurrah?
Ok...nevermind...
So here are some of my thoughts, a little snipit from one human mind for some other mind to read and maybe digest.

I am excited, so, off we go!




"For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21